Debauch

Treasures in life are many, 
dreams realized but few. 
But I know the test of God’s goodness 
is when he gave me a friend like you. 

~

Here’s to stealing, cheating and lying: may you steal someone’s heart, cheat death, and lie with your love. 

~

May your troubles be less, and your blessings be more. And nothing but happiness come through your door.

~

May we be who our dogs think we are. 

~

May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, and never catch up! 

~

May all your ups and downs be under the sheets. 

~

Here’s to the woman who wears the red shoes. She steals all your money and drinks all your booze. She’s lost her cherry but that's not a sin, ’cause she’s still got the box that the cherry came in. 

~

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad. But never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

~

May you be in heaven a full half hour before the devil knows you're dead. 

~

Here’s to the women who love me terribly, 
May they soon improve. 

~

When we drink, we get drunk. 
When we get drunk, we fall asleep. 
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. 
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. 
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven! 

~

To hell: May the stay there be as fun as the way there. 

~

Cheers to beers and legs behind your ears. 

~

Here’s to those who wish us well, all the rest can go to hell. 

~

A rich man lives in a castle, a poor man lives by the sea. But a whiskey glass and a fat girl’s ass are home, sweet home to me. 

~

Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic. 

~

Here’s to staying positive and testing negative 

~

May you die in bed at 95 years, 
Shot by a jealous wife. 

~

May the winds of fortune sail you, 
May you sail a gentle sea. 
May it always be the other guy 
who says, ‘this drink’s on me.’ 

~

May the saddest day of your future be no worse 
Than the happiest day of your past. 

~

Always remember to forget 
The things that made you sad. 
But never forget to remember 
The things that made you glad. 

~

May the lilt of Irish laughter 
lighten every load. 
May the mist of Irish magic 
shorten every road. 
And may all your friends remember 
all the favors you are owed. 

 

The test of Gold is Fire  
The test of Truth is Time  
The test of God’s love are the heavens above  
and everything sublime. 

~

Here’s to the land of the shamrock so green,  
Here’s to each lad and his darlin’ colleen,  
Here’s to the ones we love dearest and most.  
May God bless old Ireland, that’s this Irishman’s toast.  

~

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.  

~

Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap.  

~

I used to know a clever toast. But now I cannot think it. So fill your glass to anything. And damn your souls, I’ll drink it.  

~

May those who live truly be always believed,  
And those who deceive us be always deceived.  

~

Here's to the men of all classes,  
Who through lasses and glasses  
Will make themselves asses!  

~

I drink to the health of another,  
And the other I drink to is he  
In the hope that he drinks to another,  
And the other he drinks to is me.  

~

I drank to your health in company. I drank to your health alone. I drank to your health so many times I nearly ruined my own.  

~

Here's to our wives and girlfriends…  
May they never meet!  

~

To all the days here and after, may they be filled with fond memories, happiness and laughter.  

~

May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future.  

~

Dance as if no one were watching, sing as if no one were listening, and live every day as if it were your last.  

~

May your heart be light and happy, may your smile be big and wide. And may your pockets always have a coin or two inside.  

~

For each petal on the shamrock this brings a wish your way. Good health, good luck, and happiness for today and every day.  

~

May we all be alive at this same time next year. 

~

May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live.

~

May the luck of the Irish  
Lead to happiest heights  
And the highway you travel  
Be lined with green lights.  
Wherever you go and whatever you do,  
May the luck of the Irish be there with you.